Dear Pastoral Search Committee: I would like to inquire about the position of senior pastor you have available. This position sounds like a tremendous career opportunity.

Though I would not normally apply for a position like this one, and though I would be reluctant to call it fate, something special drew me to you... continue reading

Professor Nutbottom:I truly have a terribly vexing problem that
persists in bothering me horribly. I hope you can help me. The other
day I needed to talk, so I invited my very best friend to lunch. In
earnest I started to tell her my highly unusual situation, but before I
got even a smidgen of my strangely complex ... continue reading

The day was April 20th, five years ago.  It was around 11:40 a.m., and I was in my car running an errand during my lunch break at work.  The talk show I was listening to was suddenly interrupted by a woman announcer with breaking news.  A shooting had been reported at a local high school.  The annou... continue reading

What happens when a comic thinks he's really funny? Can he get a job?
Dear Club Owner:So you need a good stand-up comic? Well,
look no further. My act is so hilarious ... (How hilarious is it?) ...
it makes Bill Cosby look like a pretender. (Ba - Boom - Schehhhhhhhhhhh) Now, do I have your attention?
You've go... continue reading

Professor Nutbottom:Your last column was complete idiocy. "Nice" baseball? What species are you? The missing link in man's ancestry?Baseball
is about winning. Period. It always was. It always will be. Do you
understand the concept of sport? Go ahead. Take competition away.
You'll say good-bye to 10 million fans -... continue reading

Rowland first suspected a problem with her babies' health in December, when she hadn't felt the babies move. She then sought medical help.The doctors determined that the babies' condition was deteriorating. They warned her that the babies needed to be born immediately to ensure their survival. Rowland refused.Over... continue reading

Professor Nutbottom:Baseball has been so lax in testing for
steroids, Congress recently threatened to step in if they don't
institute a more stringent drug-testing policy. I always thought
baseball didn't need to test, because it's just such a clean sport. I'm
crushed to find out otherwise. Why are baseball players... continue reading

Dear Engineering Manager:My name is Ted Goldengate, and I would
like to apply for the job of structural engineer that you have on the
Web. Your ad is a godsend. You won't believe what happened.I
was planning on going into bid'ness with my cousin. She's a fine lady.
But that whole arrangement fell through, because s... continue reading

Professor Nutbottom:I've been feeling like I really should see
the movie The Passion of the Christ, but I just don't want to. This
movie is such a phenomenon. I'm afraid I'm missing something important,
and later I'll regret having missed it in the theaters. Should I go to
it?Dear Stacey:Absolutely not. You should ... continue reading

Dear Hair Care Manager:Hi, Deary. I saw your ad for a hair
stylist, and I thought I would contact you. Frankly, I'm not really
interested in the the job you have. No offense, but the pay you are
offering -- well!!But I thought you might possibly know someone
who is looking for a manicurist. That's the position wher... continue reading

Dear Professor:President Bush recently made an appointment of a
federal judge while Congress was in recess. What is all the flap over
his action? Dear Kurt:Good thing you brought this up; it is important that we take an objective look at this critical topic.Firstly,
all the President has done with his recess appoint... continue reading