Hello, I had written something terrifically surreal about being raised by foxes here, but this isn't the time or the place for it (nor was that funeral in hindsight...) I enjoy comedy as it keeps my mind from my football team,I enjoy watching my football team Sheffield Wednesday(well in a manner of speaking) because it keeps me from becoming too upbeat, and I enjoy writing because it keeps my hands off my penis. Non-smoker preferred.

There is a certain pivotal point in every nerd's life when he realises that any efforts to run with a popular clique are futile, and so instead he settles into a comfortable state of nerdism and all it entails.

Part of this is the realisation that due to our un-aesthetically pleasing faces, and being socially retard... continue reading

Earlier this month two leading figures of political party the BNP
(British National Party) were granted bail after appearing in court on
racial hatred charges. The right-wing party, led by Nick Griffin, are
little more than a bit player in terms of the election, as their
intolerance and divisive tactics have thankf... continue reading

The coffee establishment was practically empty now. Newspaper ink branded my fist as damnable evidence of yet another crossword undone. Finally Alex swept in - naught but a pinstripe blur – and proceeded to slump into the seat opposite to mine.   “Good afternoon, my good sir. How do you find the day?” I ventured. ... continue reading

"Hi! My name’s Carl Bradshaw and I work as a writer for Manhattan's
favourite glossy men’s magazine! Every Wednesday my friends and I meet
to do lunch at our favourite trendy high street café. We 'catch up' and
chat about all manner of subjects, be it literature (erotic), films
(pornographic) or politics (who’s fuc... continue reading

Hip-hop isn't something that springs to mind when most people think of
Britain. In fact to some outsiders it is perhaps puzzling as to how we
manage to stir up the panache to really attack a mic, what with our
preoccupation for tea drinking, stiff-upper-lipped-ness and a yearning
desire for some world class dentist... continue reading

The other day whilst observing my two-year old sister running terrified
from a large balloon that was bouncing playfully along the carpet
toward her, it occurred to me that the whole concept of fears and
phobias really is quite bizarre. Are they inherent? Or are
they triggered by something? The thing that tends to ... continue reading