My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for three years. Were getting very serious and will probably get married. Hes kind, intelligent, and incredibly handsome. He also happens to be a Republican. While this would be the dream boyfriend of a lot of people, I am a liberal feminist Democrat.
It wasnt like I didnt know he was a Republican. On our first date, after arriving with roses, my beau took me to his car and opened the door for me. While I was mentally giving him points, I noticed something that made me stop in my tracks. He had a Bush-Cheney 2000 bumper sticker. Oh my God! I screamed. Youre a Republican?! I was instantly angry. How dare he have pretended to be so sweet? How could he have led me on? Yeah, he answered back. Is that a problem? It could be, I said back, crushed that the guy with so much promise wasnt going to work out after all. I figured we could discuss it at dinner, since I thought hopefully he was just playing a joke on me.What are your views on abortion? I asked him. I was ready to pounce on him when he gave me what I assumed would be the standard all life is precious and begins at conception rhetoric so popular with white Christian men who make our laws. He said, I think its a womans right to choose. If it was my girlfriend, I would want to know about it and be involved in the decision. Aha! I exclaimed. So you would force her to have your child even if she didnt want to! This Republican was really starting to piss me off. No, he said. Its ultimately her decision. I would just want to know about it. Well, that seemed surprisingly normal. That was even how I felt about abortion. We had a great discussion at dinner about how we came upon our political views and why we feel the way we do. It was a very mature conversation where we both respectfully agreed to disagree.
Once George W. Bush declared war on Iraq, our differing political opinions began to be an issue. I thought that it was wrong on so many levels, but he supported the Presidents decision. He was also in the Army before we met, so he felt that to not support our troops would be unpatriotic. I feel that you can support the men and women who are fighting without agreeing with why they are fighting in the first place. Watching the news together began to get uncomfortable until we remembered that we knew what we were getting into when we got together. We will probably always see politics differently, but we love each other enough to work through it. We have come to the concurrence that since we dont personally make the laws or declare war, all we can do is vote for the people who do.
Co-workers say things to me like, Why are you two even bothering to vote? Youll just cancel each others vote out. We will both go to vote for our different candidates because we are honoring our right to vote. Especially with the polls this close, we have to. We are honoring the men and women who fought in wars and died to keep us free to vote. We are honoring our fore-fathers (and fore-mothers) who came here from all over the world for the promise of freedom. Every time we vote we appreciate the choice we have as Americans to choose our own leader. As a woman, I am honoring all of the suffragettes who fought so hard so I would have that right.
Recently, I told someone that my boyfriend was a Republican. The woman was complaining about how stupid Republicans are, and I said, Hey, my boyfriend is a Republican. What? she said in an icy tone, exactly the tone you would use if I said, Hey, my boyfriends a crack-smoking child pornography vendor. She said, Whats wrong with him? I said, I dont know. I dont get it either." She said, Maybe the better question would be whats wrong with you? That would be a deal-breaker for me.
I found myself thinking, is there something wrong with me? I mean, besides the obvious, is there something wrong with me for loving a man whose political beliefs differ from my own? The last time I checked, I live in America. A place where you can think and believe anything you want. Its only other people who cannot believe that we are together since we do not agree on politics. It is as if I were a Jewish Rabbis daughter dating the son of a Baptist minister. I would think that a disagreement of religion would be a much bigger factor in a relationship than contradictory views on politics. I dont have a problem with anyone elses view of religion as long as they are not constantly asking me if I have taken Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I feel that political views are the same way. I love to have political discussions, but I do not want someone who feels the need to help me see that my views are wrong.
Sometimes people say that Brian and I are going to have a really hard time raising children. We feel that our children will be lucky because they will get a chance to see democracy in action. I think it will teach them to think for themselves and come up with their own opinions. I have not seen Fahrenheit 911 yet because I am saving it for a time when I can watch it with my boyfriend. Are we going to both see it very differently? You bet. The movie probably wont change either of our political views, but I love him for being willing to watch it. I love dating someone intelligent who has real opinions that can give me the other side of the coin. He loves me for having a brain and a point of view, even if he doesnt agree with me. I love that he isnt the kind of Republican who would denounce the movie because Rush Limbaugh and Bill OReilly told him he should. He thinks for himself and comes to his own conclusions.
In the end, Brian can believe whatever he wants. I respect his opinions because he also respects mine. I feel that we are a truly American couple with both of us proudly believing whatever we respectively want.
It wasnt like I didnt know he was a Republican. On our first date, after arriving with roses, my beau took me to his car and opened the door for me. While I was mentally giving him points, I noticed something that made me stop in my tracks. He had a Bush-Cheney 2000 bumper sticker. Oh my God! I screamed. Youre a Republican?! I was instantly angry. How dare he have pretended to be so sweet? How could he have led me on? Yeah, he answered back. Is that a problem? It could be, I said back, crushed that the guy with so much promise wasnt going to work out after all. I figured we could discuss it at dinner, since I thought hopefully he was just playing a joke on me.What are your views on abortion? I asked him. I was ready to pounce on him when he gave me what I assumed would be the standard all life is precious and begins at conception rhetoric so popular with white Christian men who make our laws. He said, I think its a womans right to choose. If it was my girlfriend, I would want to know about it and be involved in the decision. Aha! I exclaimed. So you would force her to have your child even if she didnt want to! This Republican was really starting to piss me off. No, he said. Its ultimately her decision. I would just want to know about it. Well, that seemed surprisingly normal. That was even how I felt about abortion. We had a great discussion at dinner about how we came upon our political views and why we feel the way we do. It was a very mature conversation where we both respectfully agreed to disagree.
Once George W. Bush declared war on Iraq, our differing political opinions began to be an issue. I thought that it was wrong on so many levels, but he supported the Presidents decision. He was also in the Army before we met, so he felt that to not support our troops would be unpatriotic. I feel that you can support the men and women who are fighting without agreeing with why they are fighting in the first place. Watching the news together began to get uncomfortable until we remembered that we knew what we were getting into when we got together. We will probably always see politics differently, but we love each other enough to work through it. We have come to the concurrence that since we dont personally make the laws or declare war, all we can do is vote for the people who do.
Co-workers say things to me like, Why are you two even bothering to vote? Youll just cancel each others vote out. We will both go to vote for our different candidates because we are honoring our right to vote. Especially with the polls this close, we have to. We are honoring the men and women who fought in wars and died to keep us free to vote. We are honoring our fore-fathers (and fore-mothers) who came here from all over the world for the promise of freedom. Every time we vote we appreciate the choice we have as Americans to choose our own leader. As a woman, I am honoring all of the suffragettes who fought so hard so I would have that right.
Recently, I told someone that my boyfriend was a Republican. The woman was complaining about how stupid Republicans are, and I said, Hey, my boyfriend is a Republican. What? she said in an icy tone, exactly the tone you would use if I said, Hey, my boyfriends a crack-smoking child pornography vendor. She said, Whats wrong with him? I said, I dont know. I dont get it either." She said, Maybe the better question would be whats wrong with you? That would be a deal-breaker for me.
I found myself thinking, is there something wrong with me? I mean, besides the obvious, is there something wrong with me for loving a man whose political beliefs differ from my own? The last time I checked, I live in America. A place where you can think and believe anything you want. Its only other people who cannot believe that we are together since we do not agree on politics. It is as if I were a Jewish Rabbis daughter dating the son of a Baptist minister. I would think that a disagreement of religion would be a much bigger factor in a relationship than contradictory views on politics. I dont have a problem with anyone elses view of religion as long as they are not constantly asking me if I have taken Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I feel that political views are the same way. I love to have political discussions, but I do not want someone who feels the need to help me see that my views are wrong.
Sometimes people say that Brian and I are going to have a really hard time raising children. We feel that our children will be lucky because they will get a chance to see democracy in action. I think it will teach them to think for themselves and come up with their own opinions. I have not seen Fahrenheit 911 yet because I am saving it for a time when I can watch it with my boyfriend. Are we going to both see it very differently? You bet. The movie probably wont change either of our political views, but I love him for being willing to watch it. I love dating someone intelligent who has real opinions that can give me the other side of the coin. He loves me for having a brain and a point of view, even if he doesnt agree with me. I love that he isnt the kind of Republican who would denounce the movie because Rush Limbaugh and Bill OReilly told him he should. He thinks for himself and comes to his own conclusions.
In the end, Brian can believe whatever he wants. I respect his opinions because he also respects mine. I feel that we are a truly American couple with both of us proudly believing whatever we respectively want.
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