Those of us in The United States who remember Amy Fisher seem unable to forget her.Amy Fisher was seventeen when she was thrust into notoriety in 1992. She is remembered for shooting the wife of her much older lover, Joey Buttafuoco.Although shot in the face, Mary Jo Buttafuoco survived.
The press dubbed Amy the Long Island Lolita, and she has lived in infamy ever since.Amy served seven years in prison and is now an award-winning columnist for The Long Island Press.She is also a devoted wife and mother of one child and expecting another in January.
Amy Fisher and I are almost exactly the same age; she is thirty and I am twenty-nine.I remember when the story of Amy and Joey Buttafuoco broke on the news.I felt that we had a lot of similarities.We both had voluminous dark hair and the opinion that cut-off jean shorts, a flannel shirt, and hiking boots with big socks was a sexy and fashionable look.We also had a thing for older guys.Fortunately for me, I had a thing for guys about five years older than me.She liked really older men, worked as a call girl, and hooked up with Joey Buttafuoco, an auto mechanic almost 20 years older than her.Although neither Joey nor Amy claim that they were in love at the time, Amy still shot Buttafuocos wife Mary Jo in the face.
Amy was on NBCs Dateline here in the USA on Friday night.She was on to promote her new advice book for teens and their parents,If I Knew Then . . . .written by Amy Fisher and Robbie Woliverd.Although she has paid her debt to society and is remorseful about the past, she cannot escape the unsavory reputation that one would expect.One piece of advice she gave on the show was that if youre a sixteen year old girl and a thirty-five year old guy wants to be with you, theres something wrong with him.
Here is an excerpt from her new book: "There were so many warning signs in my past. I am hoping that by reflecting on and writing about my life, some of it very painful, I can help stop others from getting into the same kind of trouble. Who better to tell kids and parents: 'These are the warning signs,' and not spout them from some academic experience, but rather from real-life experience; to tell these kids, 'I did these stupid things, and I'm here to tell you, this is what you should watch out for.'"
While I believe that Amy Fisher could easily write a book giving advice to teens about what not to do, would teenagers listen?Isnt part of adulthood looking back at your past and realizing that not every choice made was a good one?I cant tell you how many adults gave me unsolicited advice as a teenager.I found that most of their advice was useless to me, but adulthood seems to make one want to tell others what they wish someone would have told them.While I do not have any prison experience or fame, it did make me think about what advice I would give to young girls.Here it is: unsolicited advice in its purest form.
1.Dress like a whore
I wish that I would have had the self confidence to show off my body while it was really worth showing off.I was thin and nubile, and the only part of me that was big was my hair.As an adult, I feel more confident and want to show a little belly or cleavage for a night out on the town.As an adult, my belly is not cute, as it was at that age.I wish I would have worn hip huggers before I had stretch marks on my hips.Not everyone gains a significant amount of weight after high school, but just about everyone I know has.I wish I would have not thought about how fat I was all the time.Now that I know what fat is, I would have embraced my high school sized self.
2.What people think of you in high school does not matter once you are out of high school.
Its true.All the popular girls and athletic guys from high school do not have the same regality today that they once had.Some people get fat, cant get into college, or find that not everyone loves them as much as they did at school.Some geeks grow out of their bad looks and move on to wonderful careers that benefit society.I have seen former teachers pets crumble in an office where they get no attention or approval from their bosses.I have seen thugs in gangs grow up to be investment bankers.For people like me who were teased and harassed constantly, I find that as an adult I do not generate that kind of hatred.If anything, I am able to move anonymously through the world, attracting the attention of few.
3. You really dont know what you want to do when you grow up until you have had a little more life experience.
Why does it seem like every adult asks every person they meet under the age of eighteen what they want to be when they grow up?As adults, do we just not know how to talk to children?We start pressuring children early to know what career they want and push them toward it.For every child that I have heard asked that question, I have never once heard a child answer that they want to grow up and work in a retail store, or be a data analyst, or work in a factory.We tell children in America that they can be anything they want to be if they work at it hard enough.Its only as adults that one has to grapple with the fact that they will never be a lawyer if they cant pass college algebra.For every one person who knew they wanted to be a doctor at five and pursued and obtained that goal, there are 100 people just like me who dont know what the hell happened.
4. It wont seem so bad years from now.
Maybe Im just speaking for myself, but time has gone so much faster since I turned twenty-one.It took forever to get to eighteen and an eternity to get to twenty-one.Once I had reached the magical adult age, time went on fast forward. It can feel like a broken heart will never heal when one is a teenager.Six months is a lot longer when youre seventeen than it is when youre twenty-seven.The other great mystery is how time softens memories, and you can look back at the guy you swore you would never get over with fondness.
5.As Amy Fisher will attest, there really is something wrong with an older guy who exclusively dates young girls.
Im not talking about Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.I am talking about men who date underage girls.I was very mature for my age and found guys who were also sixteen so immature and boring.I always dated older men, which I preferred.Sure, they had real life experience and important things to talk about, but what were they getting from the relationship?It never occurred to me at the time that there was something wrong with them, as I thought it validated what was right about me.In this case, that I was as smart as a twenty year old woman.I learned later that younger girls have much lower expectations for a man.I thought it was cool to date a guy with a job.Why would I care that it was a minimum wage job?In my world, a guy who could take you to the movies, AND get you all the popcorn and soda you could handle was a prince among men. It only occurred to me later that if a man is not financially secure he would not make a good husband or father.Also, its the first time that youve heard mens lies and excuses.Wow, all of your ex-girlfriends became psycho for NO REASON?As an adult, I know that any man who has all psycho ex-girlfriends either chose that type of woman or made them that way.
There is much more that I wish I could say, but time has made my memories of adolescence seem almost fun.I can only hope that Amy Fisher really does find happiness, and teenagers and their parents are ready to learn from her mistakes.A quote from Amy on her website, www.amyfisher.com, says I am now the person I always should have been except for a brief total, unfathomable lapse of judgment in my youth.How many of us can really say that we are truly the person we should be?I am grateful to have survived my teenage years without prostitution, attempted murder, or prison.If Amy Fisher can become an adult and a productive member of society, there is hope for all of us yet.
The press dubbed Amy the Long Island Lolita, and she has lived in infamy ever since.Amy served seven years in prison and is now an award-winning columnist for The Long Island Press.She is also a devoted wife and mother of one child and expecting another in January.
Amy Fisher and I are almost exactly the same age; she is thirty and I am twenty-nine.I remember when the story of Amy and Joey Buttafuoco broke on the news.I felt that we had a lot of similarities.We both had voluminous dark hair and the opinion that cut-off jean shorts, a flannel shirt, and hiking boots with big socks was a sexy and fashionable look.We also had a thing for older guys.Fortunately for me, I had a thing for guys about five years older than me.She liked really older men, worked as a call girl, and hooked up with Joey Buttafuoco, an auto mechanic almost 20 years older than her.Although neither Joey nor Amy claim that they were in love at the time, Amy still shot Buttafuocos wife Mary Jo in the face.
Amy was on NBCs Dateline here in the USA on Friday night.She was on to promote her new advice book for teens and their parents,If I Knew Then . . . .written by Amy Fisher and Robbie Woliverd.Although she has paid her debt to society and is remorseful about the past, she cannot escape the unsavory reputation that one would expect.One piece of advice she gave on the show was that if youre a sixteen year old girl and a thirty-five year old guy wants to be with you, theres something wrong with him.
Here is an excerpt from her new book: "There were so many warning signs in my past. I am hoping that by reflecting on and writing about my life, some of it very painful, I can help stop others from getting into the same kind of trouble. Who better to tell kids and parents: 'These are the warning signs,' and not spout them from some academic experience, but rather from real-life experience; to tell these kids, 'I did these stupid things, and I'm here to tell you, this is what you should watch out for.'"
While I believe that Amy Fisher could easily write a book giving advice to teens about what not to do, would teenagers listen?Isnt part of adulthood looking back at your past and realizing that not every choice made was a good one?I cant tell you how many adults gave me unsolicited advice as a teenager.I found that most of their advice was useless to me, but adulthood seems to make one want to tell others what they wish someone would have told them.While I do not have any prison experience or fame, it did make me think about what advice I would give to young girls.Here it is: unsolicited advice in its purest form.
1.Dress like a whore
I wish that I would have had the self confidence to show off my body while it was really worth showing off.I was thin and nubile, and the only part of me that was big was my hair.As an adult, I feel more confident and want to show a little belly or cleavage for a night out on the town.As an adult, my belly is not cute, as it was at that age.I wish I would have worn hip huggers before I had stretch marks on my hips.Not everyone gains a significant amount of weight after high school, but just about everyone I know has.I wish I would have not thought about how fat I was all the time.Now that I know what fat is, I would have embraced my high school sized self.
2.What people think of you in high school does not matter once you are out of high school.
Its true.All the popular girls and athletic guys from high school do not have the same regality today that they once had.Some people get fat, cant get into college, or find that not everyone loves them as much as they did at school.Some geeks grow out of their bad looks and move on to wonderful careers that benefit society.I have seen former teachers pets crumble in an office where they get no attention or approval from their bosses.I have seen thugs in gangs grow up to be investment bankers.For people like me who were teased and harassed constantly, I find that as an adult I do not generate that kind of hatred.If anything, I am able to move anonymously through the world, attracting the attention of few.
3. You really dont know what you want to do when you grow up until you have had a little more life experience.
Why does it seem like every adult asks every person they meet under the age of eighteen what they want to be when they grow up?As adults, do we just not know how to talk to children?We start pressuring children early to know what career they want and push them toward it.For every child that I have heard asked that question, I have never once heard a child answer that they want to grow up and work in a retail store, or be a data analyst, or work in a factory.We tell children in America that they can be anything they want to be if they work at it hard enough.Its only as adults that one has to grapple with the fact that they will never be a lawyer if they cant pass college algebra.For every one person who knew they wanted to be a doctor at five and pursued and obtained that goal, there are 100 people just like me who dont know what the hell happened.
4. It wont seem so bad years from now.
Maybe Im just speaking for myself, but time has gone so much faster since I turned twenty-one.It took forever to get to eighteen and an eternity to get to twenty-one.Once I had reached the magical adult age, time went on fast forward. It can feel like a broken heart will never heal when one is a teenager.Six months is a lot longer when youre seventeen than it is when youre twenty-seven.The other great mystery is how time softens memories, and you can look back at the guy you swore you would never get over with fondness.
5.As Amy Fisher will attest, there really is something wrong with an older guy who exclusively dates young girls.
Im not talking about Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.I am talking about men who date underage girls.I was very mature for my age and found guys who were also sixteen so immature and boring.I always dated older men, which I preferred.Sure, they had real life experience and important things to talk about, but what were they getting from the relationship?It never occurred to me at the time that there was something wrong with them, as I thought it validated what was right about me.In this case, that I was as smart as a twenty year old woman.I learned later that younger girls have much lower expectations for a man.I thought it was cool to date a guy with a job.Why would I care that it was a minimum wage job?In my world, a guy who could take you to the movies, AND get you all the popcorn and soda you could handle was a prince among men. It only occurred to me later that if a man is not financially secure he would not make a good husband or father.Also, its the first time that youve heard mens lies and excuses.Wow, all of your ex-girlfriends became psycho for NO REASON?As an adult, I know that any man who has all psycho ex-girlfriends either chose that type of woman or made them that way.
There is much more that I wish I could say, but time has made my memories of adolescence seem almost fun.I can only hope that Amy Fisher really does find happiness, and teenagers and their parents are ready to learn from her mistakes.A quote from Amy on her website, www.amyfisher.com, says I am now the person I always should have been except for a brief total, unfathomable lapse of judgment in my youth.How many of us can really say that we are truly the person we should be?I am grateful to have survived my teenage years without prostitution, attempted murder, or prison.If Amy Fisher can become an adult and a productive member of society, there is hope for all of us yet.
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