Ask Doc Kee

Okay, Doc what about this?

 

I am 55 years old and about to re-enter the workforce for the first time in twenty plus years. My husband passed on suddenly a year or so ago, and I have no marketable skills. No true way in which to support myself! I never got my high school diploma, let alone finished any advanced schooling of any kind. I am scared to death to begin the application process or, conversely, to go back to school! What do you think I should do?

 

--Please don't sign my real name to this.

 

Dear 'Please Dont':

 

The job market unquestionably has changed; however, I know that you will be able to re-enter to marketplace without too much difficulty.

 

To begin with, I know that its been a year and I truly sympathize with you. I identify that losing someone is difficult, especially when it occurs so suddenly and unexpected. Based on what you've said, it is safe for me to presume that your deceased husband was the principal bread winner, which prompts this decision to re-enter the workforce.

 

Its a task in its self to re-enter the workforce after taking a break, but to be thrown back into this atmosphere can be scary without the appropriate tools. Being 55 and a woman this day and age requires you to work since social security doesnt provide the benefits it once did. I encourage you to start from the beginning. I propose that you write a list of pros and cons of your skills. You would be surprised to find out that you may have some marketable skills, especially if you raised children.

 

Once you have accomplished this task, I persuade you to check out your local community college online information. Some community colleges allow seniors to take classes at reduced prices, some are even free. You can even audit a class that is when you sit in and observe the teacher. You may be able to start sooner than you think, not having any advanced schooling doesnt mean you cant take advantage of what is currently being offered. Is there anything that you enjoy doing? If so, try to use it to make money as long as it is legal.

 

Now, if you decide that school isnt for you, visiting your local library to review the latest books about interviewing techniques, resume builders, and cover letters will definitely assist you as well as reduce the tension that you are feeling about re-entering the workforce at your age. You'll be surprised how easily you can incorporate your life into your answers.

 

Be strong, take the bull by the horn and let the world know that you are a strong women and ready to take on anything. Please let me know how it turns out or if you need any assistance. I love doing research online Google.com is my best friend. J

 

 

Doc Kee -

Believe it or not, my boyfriend is a born again Christian type. I love him to death and he is the most fun a guy could ever be, but if it comes to any of the fun stuff I like to do with my boys ;-)

 

...well, he wants no part of it. Is there any way I should try to get him to change his mind? I miss the lovin, even though he is so sweet and caring and respectful. I don't want to lose him. I have no idea what to do.

 

Signed,

He holds up a cross, and I go running scared

 

Dear 'He holds up':

 

Believing it or not isnt the question. If he is a born again Christian, there are certain things that he will not tolerate, in some cases he will even be judgmental.

 

In your next sentence you state that you love him. If you love him, that is a part of him that you are going to have to love and accept as well. It seems that you and he are able to have a good time without going against his religious decisions.

 

The one question that I have is: What are you doing with your boys? Most men enjoy sports, playing videos games, movies, etc. Being a Christian is a positive because he is a positive role model for your boys teaching them how to be confident men as they grow up, unless Ive missed something.

 

Changing a person is very difficult to do unless they want it done. Most people change on their own terms and timeframe. I suggest that you tell him how you feel. He may or may not feel the same way. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. It appears that he has all the characteristics that you are looking for.

 

Don't walk away from him. Just talk to him. I also encourage you to pray on it, trust and believe he is.

 

You can 'Ask Doc Kee' for advice on life's most pressing questions by emailing the "doc" at cyncerestud29@yahoo.com.   Advice is for entertainment use only.