Envy Green

Jealousy is something encountered every day. It is encountered with girls looking at prettier or more fashionable girls. It is when guys have bigger cars or pay checks. It is a part of our culture. But why?

When I was a child, my father would not allow my mother to talk to many of her friends. Through his jealousy, she lost most, if not all, of her friends. When they divorced, her boyfriend would get jealous if she looked at a guy - a semi-attractive guy on television or if Heaven forbid, she waved to another of the male species. This seemed so childlike and ridiculous.

Then I got to high school. My first real boyfriend was a major flirt. He made me feel less attractive, less smart and less strong than any other girl he liked. I did not want him to take away my self esteem, so I dumped him instead. My motto is to always choose esteem over losers. But now I have a fiance. I feel totally attached to him.  And any time he looks at a girl (or I think he is), I get upset. If he mentions liking the way a girl looks, I get disturbed. I've become this selfish animal who only wants him for myself. It never occured to me before that I could get this way. I used to take it for granted that I could not or would not get jealous.

I never understood why people tease others because they are better at something. But I hear it all the time. "They're just jealous."  That sentence is both something parents tell their awkward young ones and something snooty people usually tell everyone else. Is it true?

It depends on the circumstance. If the person is jealous, they probably will be more hostile towards anything they do.  I always knew I was smart, so when I got good grades, kids always made fun of me. My obsession was singing for a while. I used to think I had a good voice. When I found out I did not really sing good at all, I stopped pretending.  Instead I focused on how bad at singing other people were and giggled at their dreams.

However, with this view on life you can only get so far. When I started to realize I was losing friends over silly issues I began to have doubts and admit to myself and others what was really going on. Yes, I, who nothing goes wrong for and am always so good at everything was jealous. It made me feel better to say it aloud. Then I realized so many other people feel the way I do. The best thing to do is talk about the things you are jealous of that bother you the most. Maybe people can not change the world but they can change themselves. The harder I tried to be like other people I admired and grumbled thoughts of revenge, the less I was true to myself and actually happy.

I realized the best way to fight jealousy was to be myself. Now I hope others can learn from my mistakes. Jealousy leads nowhere but to heart break. Be true to yourself and do what you want in life. Let everyone be themselves, respect other people and even pass some compliments instead of looks of scorn and envy. Trust me, the more you respect those around you the more they will respect you. Eventually, you will never lack anything and there will never be any need to be jealous of anything.

"Its not having what you want,  it's wanting what you've got"

    -Sheryl Crow