MANAGING THE FEAR OF LONELINESS

Sometime or
another we will experience a time when we are alone. The first step is
to become comfortable with yourself and have the self-confidence you
will be able to manage being alone. There is nothing wrong with being
alone. If being alone bothers you, then seeing a counselor can help you
with these issues.

In the meantime,
here is a short list of techniques that a person can use so that the
fear of being alone doesn't become a major issue in their lives.

The first step
is to find an activity that you enjoy and where you can meet a lot of
people. For instance, joining a group activity such as a volleyball
group, women's club, or making crafts can be a great way to meet
people. Doing something that you like to do will make you happy and
will increase your chances of making friends.

Spending time with animals can be a great source of companionship. Having a dog or cat can make us feel loved. If you don't own a dog or cat, then volunteer at the local animal shelter. Spending
time with an animal or pet can help us to feel better and can be of
good company to all of us whether we are alone or not.

Helping others
through community service can be of some help. There are many people
out there who could benefit from your time and talents. Helping others
can give you a source of pride, help you feel better about yourself,
and provide long lasting friendships. Give it a try and you will be
surprised.

Challenge your
negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When
encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed, challenge
those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain
objectivity and common sense. For example, some people may think that
if they are alone at the present time then they will always be alone.
This is not true. Even
if your alone today doesn't mean that you will be alone all the time.
No one can predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy.

It isn't fun
being alone, but sometimes there are worse things. For instance,
imagine that you are married or stuck in a relationship you can't get
out of and also makes you miserable. Not only do you have to live with
this person, there is no way to get out of the relationship because of
various financial or personal reasons. As a result, you are stuck
living with someone you can't stand and this makes you depressed every
single day of your life. With this viewpoint, being alone doesn't sound
that bad.

The important
thing is to do something constructive. Sitting around and doing nothing
will not make things any better whether it is dealing with the fear of
being alone or something else. Go out and do something that you like to
do. In addition, take it one day at a time and stay committed in trying
to solve your problem.