I won't lie to you. I am not the best husband in the world. I am not the greatest guy around. I am extremely selfish and flawed.
I
try very hard to be a better man both for myself and for my wife. Some
days are better than others, but for the most part I am an alright
person.
When February rolls around I am reminded of how good I
have it when it comes to my wife, April. Don't get me wrong, she is not
perfect either, but she makes a few things extremely more comfortable
for me. These things tend make me the envy of many a man.
Long before we were married I was informed that if I EVER wanted to flat-out lose my lady love, all I had to do was acknowledge the most awful of fake holidays, Valentine's Day.
I
am simply not allowed to buy a present for her on that day. No velvet
boxes,no pretty jewelry, not a single piece of chocolate, not one
cuddly stuffed animal, not even a card imprinted with some
corporation's verbalization of how I love my wife is allowed to be
brought into our home. THIS, is one cool lady and one easy to follow policy!
I
know what the men are thinking. Those not hoping I'm getting a divorce
or wondering if April has a single sister are convinced this is part of
some "woman trick".
Men have fallen victims to these sorts of ploys before. We get TOLD that we're not expected to "do anything special" for Valentine's Day. When we do NOTHING we end up sleeping alone in the garage for a week. Sometimes we do SOMETHING, just not "something special," and we get the mildly hurt expression and the, "That's OK. I love it…really," response. We all know that response means we failed the test. Believe me, guys, I have been there. I feel your pain.
I
thought I was being set up for failure the first time April and I
approached a Valentine's Day. I was pretty sure she meant what she
said, but a big part of me was panicking inside. I humored thoughts of
having a go-to safety gift waiting in the wings, JUST IN CASE!
If it was indeed true that Valentine's Day meant nothing to her I could
save the gift for a birthday, an anniversary, or better yet, the "no particular occasion gift". Those gifts always score big points! If the no Valentine's gift concept was all a clever plot to trap me I'd have a great, "A-HA!" moment
and save the day with a pretty package. Instead, I did nothing. I had
no present-parachute to save my life. As luck would have it, I survived
the day.
April truly hates Valentine's Day and all it represents. This is a girl that otherwise LOVES
presents, chocolates, and gifts of all kinds. Associate any of those
things with Valentine's Day and she will have nothing to do with them.
All
men hate Valentine's Day and the unnecessary pressure put upon us to
perform properly. If you are neither dating nor married, you hate it
because of the awful implied loser image associated with being "alone."
Being with April has been a real eye-opening experience for me.
She first put this concept into my head and in the years since we've been together a genuinely nice theory has emerged.
Why not love your significant other every day of the year?
Why
put so much importance on one single day? We already have Christmas,
Hanukkah, birthdays & anniversaries to show affection and
appreciation and buy gifts. There are special days for mothers, fathers,
and grandparents. Even secretaries & bosses get singled out for
extra love on certain days. If the greeting card people could market a "Best Friends Day" or a "Wonderful Pets Day" I'm sure they'd do it.
Excluding
religious holidays, any of these non-holidays could be removed from our
calendars and replaced with 364 more days of general appreciation.
While my wife and I may not always LIKE each other, we LOVE
each other every day of the year. We don't need a cold day in February
filled with pink cards and roses to remind us of that. There are plenty
of times we surprise each other with little gifts or go to dinner just
to be together.
Why trouble ourselves with impossible dinner
reservations on February 14th when we can eat the same meal on May
14th? Think about it, wouldn't YOU like to have some fun May 14th? Nothing ever happens on May 14th, why not make that a special day?
Pick any day other than Valentine's Day and have some fun. They sell greeting cards & gifts year-round, so go for it!
Single? Great! Make November 29th "Single People RULE Day"
and give the bars and night clubs a reason to jump start the holiday
season. Invite all your single friends and give each other cool gifts
and cards. Put photos of your married friends and their kids in the
cards and point out how tired and depressed the married folks look.
Tell them the pictures were taken on Valentine's Day to make the moment
sweeter.
The possibilities are endless once you free yourself from the bonds of a useless and meaningless holiday like Valentine's Day!
Of course, I know I am the exception to the rule. My wife is special. When we got engaged she didn't want a diamond ring. She HATES diamonds. When we got married she chose to wear her GARNET engagement ring I bought her. In fact, she didn't insist I wear a wedding ring at all! SHE knows I'm married to her.
I've
been told if I ever wanted a wedding ring, she'd buy one for me. I may
just go ahead and push the envelope and ask for one with a diamond
inside. I think I'll ask for one this Sweetest Day and see what happens.
I
try very hard to be a better man both for myself and for my wife. Some
days are better than others, but for the most part I am an alright
person.
When February rolls around I am reminded of how good I
have it when it comes to my wife, April. Don't get me wrong, she is not
perfect either, but she makes a few things extremely more comfortable
for me. These things tend make me the envy of many a man.
Long before we were married I was informed that if I EVER wanted to flat-out lose my lady love, all I had to do was acknowledge the most awful of fake holidays, Valentine's Day.
I
am simply not allowed to buy a present for her on that day. No velvet
boxes,no pretty jewelry, not a single piece of chocolate, not one
cuddly stuffed animal, not even a card imprinted with some
corporation's verbalization of how I love my wife is allowed to be
brought into our home. THIS, is one cool lady and one easy to follow policy!
I
know what the men are thinking. Those not hoping I'm getting a divorce
or wondering if April has a single sister are convinced this is part of
some "woman trick".
Men have fallen victims to these sorts of ploys before. We get TOLD that we're not expected to "do anything special" for Valentine's Day. When we do NOTHING we end up sleeping alone in the garage for a week. Sometimes we do SOMETHING, just not "something special," and we get the mildly hurt expression and the, "That's OK. I love it…really," response. We all know that response means we failed the test. Believe me, guys, I have been there. I feel your pain.
I
thought I was being set up for failure the first time April and I
approached a Valentine's Day. I was pretty sure she meant what she
said, but a big part of me was panicking inside. I humored thoughts of
having a go-to safety gift waiting in the wings, JUST IN CASE!
If it was indeed true that Valentine's Day meant nothing to her I could
save the gift for a birthday, an anniversary, or better yet, the "no particular occasion gift". Those gifts always score big points! If the no Valentine's gift concept was all a clever plot to trap me I'd have a great, "A-HA!" moment
and save the day with a pretty package. Instead, I did nothing. I had
no present-parachute to save my life. As luck would have it, I survived
the day.
April truly hates Valentine's Day and all it represents. This is a girl that otherwise LOVES
presents, chocolates, and gifts of all kinds. Associate any of those
things with Valentine's Day and she will have nothing to do with them.
All
men hate Valentine's Day and the unnecessary pressure put upon us to
perform properly. If you are neither dating nor married, you hate it
because of the awful implied loser image associated with being "alone."
Being with April has been a real eye-opening experience for me.
She first put this concept into my head and in the years since we've been together a genuinely nice theory has emerged.
Why not love your significant other every day of the year?
Why
put so much importance on one single day? We already have Christmas,
Hanukkah, birthdays & anniversaries to show affection and
appreciation and buy gifts. There are special days for mothers, fathers,
and grandparents. Even secretaries & bosses get singled out for
extra love on certain days. If the greeting card people could market a "Best Friends Day" or a "Wonderful Pets Day" I'm sure they'd do it.
Excluding
religious holidays, any of these non-holidays could be removed from our
calendars and replaced with 364 more days of general appreciation.
While my wife and I may not always LIKE each other, we LOVE
each other every day of the year. We don't need a cold day in February
filled with pink cards and roses to remind us of that. There are plenty
of times we surprise each other with little gifts or go to dinner just
to be together.
Why trouble ourselves with impossible dinner
reservations on February 14th when we can eat the same meal on May
14th? Think about it, wouldn't YOU like to have some fun May 14th? Nothing ever happens on May 14th, why not make that a special day?
Pick any day other than Valentine's Day and have some fun. They sell greeting cards & gifts year-round, so go for it!
Single? Great! Make November 29th "Single People RULE Day"
and give the bars and night clubs a reason to jump start the holiday
season. Invite all your single friends and give each other cool gifts
and cards. Put photos of your married friends and their kids in the
cards and point out how tired and depressed the married folks look.
Tell them the pictures were taken on Valentine's Day to make the moment
sweeter.
The possibilities are endless once you free yourself from the bonds of a useless and meaningless holiday like Valentine's Day!
Of course, I know I am the exception to the rule. My wife is special. When we got engaged she didn't want a diamond ring. She HATES diamonds. When we got married she chose to wear her GARNET engagement ring I bought her. In fact, she didn't insist I wear a wedding ring at all! SHE knows I'm married to her.
I've
been told if I ever wanted a wedding ring, she'd buy one for me. I may
just go ahead and push the envelope and ask for one with a diamond
inside. I think I'll ask for one this Sweetest Day and see what happens.
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