Hello and Merry Christmas to all. I really have nothing to say for Christmas except for this…
It was the night before Christmas and all through the press
There was a ho named Paris removing her dress
The stockings were hung on the chimney with care
While Oprah the saint had all this cool shit to share
While Martha Stewart was sad, and sat in her cage
Ronnie from Indy flew in the stands with a furious rage
Janet with her outfit, and Mr. Moore in his cap
And watching Scott Peterson go down, for a long dirt nap
When on Saturday Night Live, I witnessed a clatter
I turned up the volume, to see what was the matter
It was Ashlee Simpson, singing a song
But wait she wasn't singing I guess I was wrong
I turned off the TV, and went right upstairs to bed
Jesus Christ, did Barry Bonds really have a big head?
On top of the house, I heard such a racket
Oh shit, it's Santa Claus, and he has no jacket
He filled the stockings with so much shit to spare
He brought over a wig, to cover Donald's bad hair
He brought hooked on phonics too, to help a special guy
His name is GW, something new for him to try
He left more stuff, for all to enjoy
Ahh, but don't forget for the factor, a brand new sex toy
He then got on his sleigh, with all those wanna be's
On Fantasia, on Omarossa, on Amber if you please
So 2004, what a year it has been
From a live strong bracelet, to Jennifer and Ben
And to all of the people who read this, who don't think it's right
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, take a bite.
Yes my rhyming may be off some, but it is funny. Happy Holidays.
MJ
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