2006-11-13

This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.


Here's an idea whose time may have come: Like the Christmas commercials running already, it could be too early to propose this, but…won't you all consider some of that amnesty stuff for our disillusioned leader: Junior Bush?


 


Hey, Georgie…you're doin' a great job!


 


So, here's my gut reaction: America is forgiving, isn't it?  Why shouldn't somebody start a movement to forgive George Bush Jr. his most grievous mistakes?  Congress or The World Court at The Hague in Brussels, Belgium could grant him amnesty if there was enough public support. (I only mention The Hague is in Belgium because Junior Bush might not know where it is.)


 


Hey Junior, if you hadn't stopped all of the federally financed stem cell research, maybe you could've used some of that to clear the clouds in your thinking processes. (If you ever had any.)


 


Some say the War in Iraq is about oil, but you, Mr. President, and I know different!  We both know the war in Iraq is about Daddy! Hell, if some bad folks tried to kill my daddy, I'd be mad too! I might even try to get revenge on them some crazy way, but then I'm not the leader of the Free World.


 


Junior Bush is trying as hard as he knows how to recapture the peculiar magic that brought him to power. But, as Regis Phibin keeps repeating:  "This just ain't working!"


 


We all know, and as our erstwhile President keeps telling us: America's War on Terrorism is hard, hard work!  Continually digging out from underneath all the bad advice (plus the half truths, misstatements, hypocrisy, and lies) must be exhausting.


 


I know you're tired.  We all know you're tired.  It must be tough, with all those victims of Hurricane Katrina haunting your dreams every night. Do you ever get any sleep with those departed souls from New Orleans screeching so loudly in the Lincoln bedroom?


 


Another thing Mr. President, why is it that the other leaders from two hundred and seventy one countries can correctly pronounce the word: Nuclear? (Only three syllables: nu-klee-ur) And you can't? At least, now that the mid term elections are over, all of your oil pals will get off your back, and raise the gasoline prices back to $3 a gallon.


 


I will admit it's a shame that all those folks who illegally crossed the Mexican border, while you continually refused to maintain real security, showed their everlasting thanks by not voting for Republicans. It's a downright shame. Not theirs, but yours. What ingratitude! You poor guy.


 


By the way, Mr. President, The Secret Service guidelines have never allowed any Vice-President to pack a twenty-gauge shotgun through the West Wing hallways!  Maybe LBJ had that tiny, little derringer of his, but never, ever a shotgun!


 


So, in closing Mr. President, maybe if you and I got down on our knees, said a prayer, and threw ourselves on the mercy of all the people you've transgressed against, maybe…some of them would forgive you, and get this movement started.  Or maybe not!